I feel jealous of people who have strong spiritual faith, not religious faith, spiritual faith. People who believes that there is some being out there who watches over us, someone bigger than us, someone who has the "grand plan", someone who has all the answers.
I'm jealous of those people, who can draw strength by just believing and trusting this "being bigger than him." People who, even at the face of adversity, tragedy and trials, are still able to say: "praise him" or "all in his good time".
Even if the world is not treating them right, even if their lives are miserable, even if they're stricken with poverty, illness, abandonment and despair - they find strength just by "believing".
I am not envious at these people, It's jealousy that I feel towards them.
They do not blame their afflictions to this "being". They find it that their struggles are just tests. Tests that are part of a "bigger plan", of "his will".
Which brings me to my question: Is lack of faith my problem?
People with strong faith, I'm jealous of them. I wish I have what they have - a belief that it's all part of a "plan". I wish I have what they have, a reason where they can draw strength, reasons where they can accept their fate as it is with no questions asked.
People with bliss amidst hardships, I envy them.
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