Annoyed

When did YouTube bought Facebook?!

Frankly I'm quite annoyed with people posting video URLs on their Facebook status. Is there any way to hide these URLs?!

I enjoy a couple of funny, amusing, amazing and even gross videos from time to time and I am guilty of posting video links myself, but the last time I logged in, there was nothing on my Home page but posted videos. It's too much! And friends 'Sharing' videos to their friends just doubles the pester.

I guess rather than bitch about it, I should just hide all my 'Friends' updates on my News Feed. Or better yet, just delete my FB account if I'm just agitated every time I logged in.

*** Had to do some Photoshopping on the screen cap i took to protect my friends. Also, I don't want them to think I'm being too bitchy about it. But I am!

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How do you deal with your problems if you don't know the solution?

The obvious answer to that question is to seek help from those who studied the field in which the problem is related to - professionals, if you will.

But still, these "professionals" doesn't have all the answers. Some problems they can solve easily based from past experiences and studies. But there are times where issues are not easily resolved. So what they do is formulate new solutions to the problems.

...

So what's the point of this blog entry?

... That's the problem.

Shit

Shit. It's all just shit!

Faith

I feel jealous of people who have strong spiritual faith, not religious faith, spiritual faith. People who believes that there is some being out there who watches over us, someone bigger than us, someone who has the "grand plan", someone who has all the answers.

I'm jealous of those people, who can draw strength by just believing and trusting this "being bigger than him." People who, even at the face of adversity, tragedy and trials, are still able to say: "praise him" or "all in his good time".

Even if the world is not treating them right, even if their lives are miserable, even if they're stricken with poverty, illness, abandonment and despair - they find strength just by "believing".

I am not envious at these people, It's jealousy that I feel towards them.

They do not blame their afflictions to this "being". They find it that their struggles are just tests. Tests that are part of a "bigger plan", of "his will".

Which brings me to my question: Is lack of faith my problem?

People with strong faith, I'm jealous of them. I wish I have what they have - a belief that it's all part of a "plan". I wish I have what they have, a reason where they can draw strength, reasons where they can accept their fate as it is with no questions asked.

People with bliss amidst hardships, I envy them.

Questions, Reasons and Stubbornness

"Money doesn't buy happiness."
Depressed people needs therapy and for severe cases, medication. Hence, money is needed in order for the person to be "happy", technically.

Makes me wonder how poor people who are depressed "survive", what with the cost of therapy and the price of medicines. How would they even know if it's depression they're suffering from if they can't even get a decent diagnosis in the first place? So the phrase "only the rich get depressed and the poor doesn't" makes sense.

"Everything happens for a reason."
Fuck that.

"Man's happiness lies in his own hands."
Not entirely true. People with mental health issues doesn't have the control, especially those with chemical imbalances on their brain which is not caused by outside factors such as severe emotional trauma, drug abuse or poor health habits. "A depressed man's happiness lies with his psychiatrist's prescription pad." Hahaha, shit.

"Man's destiny is the product of his choices."
Fuck that as well.

Thoughts - September 22

What now? What's the next step? What do we do? What should I do?

There are a lot of questions, questions about my life, questions about life in general.

Shall we leave it up to fate? Are we the ones who forge our own destiny? What's it gonna be? Who's going to answer my questions? Who's there to help?

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I believe I've been depressed for a long time. It's just recently that I sought medical help, because it was just a short time ago, I think, that my body wasn't able to take it further that it just "popped". Over fatigue and anxiety attacks were the manifestations of me being clinically depressed.

I cannot recall the time I had the genuine feeling of "happy", best guess was when I was in high school.

I don't know how long would I need therapy or if I can "survive this storm".

The most depressing part is: "Why now?"